It started with a 40 Day Prayer Challenge at church. Diving in I was ready to see God answer all my prayers. And He is – in His way not mine.
While prayer has alway been included in my morning time it had become less passionate and more perfunctory. Now, being guided by the book “Draw the Circle”, my prayers were forced from the repetitive to praying with authenticity, honesty and a call to surrender completely to Him, something I had never fully done. I regularly and freely offered God suggestions as to how He could and should answer my prayers.
Yet one morning the frustrations became too much, the formality fell away and out came the truth, all of it pouring forth like a rushing river that could not be stopped.
And God listened.
I vented and complained about my disappointments, cried many tears, asked “why” repeatedly, admitted truths about myself I self-righteously ignored, utterly fell to my knees in surrender then pleaded for grace.
It was raw and it was real. Then it was quiet.
What had I done? Had I alienated or angered Him? Now what?
Then He was there softly speaking His word through Isa 64:8 “…You are our Father, We are the clay and You our potter” and Gen 1:1 “… God created the heaven and the earth.” Could I trust Him the Creator in every area of my life?
After years forcing God from His rightful place behind the potter’s wheel and in frustration grabbing the paint brush from His hand all I had to show was a useless lump of clay and a blank canvas.
I wasted tears and years trying to be the Painter and the Potter and out of sheer desperation was ready to finally accept my rightful place as the canvas and the clay.
To watch, wait and seek His will instead of forcing my own then blaming Him when it failed.
In letting go I found what I thought having control could give me – Peace. He is capable, He cares and I now know that surrender comes before success.
This canvas and clay owes her all to the Painter and the Potter.