In my work I notice something common yet troubling among women. I’m even guilty of it myself.

It is our internal dialogue – those words we silently speak to ourselves no one else hears. It’s criticizing, cruel and judgmental. It’s words we wouldn’t dream of saying to someone else.

We criticize our bodies, curse our fine lines and berate our backsides. We refuse to show ourselves any grace and are cheating ourselves of joy confidence and a beautiful friendship.

When others experience heartache, failure or low self-worth we rush to encourage them with love and support but in our darkest moments refuse to speak even one kind word to ourselves believing we “should have known better,” throwing labels of  “failure” “stupid” “fat” or “ugly” at ourselves like fiery darts.  Harsh.  Hurtful.  Heartless.

We act as our own judge, jury and worst enemy berating ourselves over every mistake, misstep or failure

We’d never dream of bullying others so why are we vbullying ourselves?

The Message translation of Proverbs 18:21 says “Words kill, words give life; they are either poison or fruit – you choose.”  

Will your inner voice fill you with deadly poison or nourish you with life-giving fruit?

Begin today speaking respectfully and lovingly to yourself as this is one of the highest forms of self care.

The best friend you’ll ever have is the woman looking back at you in the mirror.

Be kind to her. She bears the scars of hard fought battles life forced her to fight.  She’s overcome the impossible, endured the unimaginable and given generously often receiving nothing in return.  

She is your hero, the one who always has your back and the one who will fight for you when no one else will.

So if you wouldn’t say it to someone else, please don’t say it to yourself.

Sandra Hubbard