Table for One


Have you ever had plans you were looking forward to unexpectedly change?

Recent lunch plans with a dear friend had to be rescheduled at the last minute.

So what is a hungry woman to do? Go to lunch of course.

There was a time when I could not and would not dine alone, travel alone, attend church or any entertainment event alone because it felt uncomfortable, unnatural and undesirable.

As a result, my life was controlled by other’s schedules because the thought of spending time with myself was terrifying like spending time with a complete stranger.

Honestly, I didn’t know that woman in the mirror simply because I never bothered to take the time or make the effort.

I didn’t value her enough to become acquainted with her and the little I did know I unfairly and harshly judged and criticized.

And that is not all.

I also bought into the lie that I had to be “busy” at all times with others to avoid feelings of loneliness, boredom and depression yet would often feel those exact feelings while others were around.

I wrongly believed that busyness meant “having a life” and that joy could never be found in quiet moments of doing little to nothing.

I was so wrong!

In my work I have met countless women who relate.

As a result, they often find themselves in unhealthy, unbalanced, toxic relationships because they believe “any man is better than no man.”

They lower their standards and throw away all self respect and dignity by tolerating unacceptable or cruel behavior simply because of their fear of being alone or their need to be validated and approved by an outside source.

Often too, we invest precious time in low quality friendships laced with phoniness because we wrongly believe “any friendship is better than being alone” not realizing our best friend is within us and is only waiting on us to show up and make that effort.

You see, when we face our fear of being alone or the need to always be busy in the company of others and learn to be comfortable and confident spending time with just ourselves amazing, amazing things happen!

Ladies, I speak from experience!

Relationships no longer become a need but an option.

We no longer tolerate negative, demeaning behavior from others but demand they treat us as we treat ourselves.

Yes, we allow others to treat us as we treat ourselves whether we realize it or not. Think about that.

Also, we stop sacrificing our dignity and handing our self worth over to others because we no longer fear being alone.

We are now too busy cultivating a beautiful, high quality friendship with ourselves to waste time on low quality, self absorbed, unacceptable behavior from others.

Today I encourage you to make it your mission to get to know You!  A glorious freedom awaits you!

Enjoy a solo lunch, take in a movie alone, create moments of being still, put down your phone and its distractions and get to know yourself.

The healthiest, most life-giving relationship a woman will enjoy is not “out there” but within her if only she values herself enough to invest in herself.

Sandra Hubbard

“Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she (wisdom) is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. She is more precious than rubies, nothing you desire can compare with her.” Prov 3: 13-15



One response to “Table for One”

  1. I really love your blog. So many times I feel like I’m the subject and then I realize that so many women experience the same things but never share their feelings. You’re the best at validating it all for us!

Join the Discussion