BREAKUPS – SESSION I of III
The calendar says the last stages of 2019 are here with Thanksgiving and Christmas on the horizon.
Holidays are crazy busy then suddenly it’s a new year.
While I usually take time during the holiday madness to journal my desires and commitments for the upcoming year I realized recently a different approach is in order.
For us to truly experience a phenomenal 2020 some breakups are necessary.
Einstein defines insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
We simply can’t take all of this year into next year and expect it to look differently.
Some people, thoughts, words and behaviors need to stay in 2019.
Distancing ourselves from negative, drama and chaos driven, self-absorbed people, whether family or friends, is critical to our future happiness.
As women we tend to assume responsibility for everyone else’s happiness and success while neglecting our own and it is costing us dearly.
A massive weight fell off my shoulders the day I realized I was not responsible for others happiness – that responsibility is theirs alone.
One of the most difficult tasks is relegating energy-consuming, life-draining relationships (especially family) to the outer fringes of our lives but it is essential in moving forward.
Breakthroughs always begin with breakups.
We don’t have to be friends with everyone because everyone doesn’t need to be our friend.
When packing for travel we carefully choose our outfits knowing we can’t take the entire closet with us.
The same applies for our lives. Everyone can’t go with us.
For 2020 to be a fantastic year we have to wisely select who stays and who goes then begin with some breakups.
Please understand I deeply love those content living in their self-imposed chaos and wish them the best but reducing communications with them and extracting myself from their daily drama has freed me to focus on cultivating healthy relationships.
God commands us to “Walk with the wise and become wise but a companion of fools suffers harm.” Prov. 13:20.
It’s our choice.
Because our friendships strongly influence our daily lives who do we need to break up with before January 1st?
We also know our world will always reflect our mental mindset so certain beliefs that are holding us back must go.
Many years I spent crying many tears because my mind controlled me instead of me controlling my mind.
I didn’t even know I had a choice.
My mind told me to stay in my comfort zone because I wasn’t capable or qualified to go after my dreams.
It said I shouldn’t even bother attempting to create a life I love.
It told me that to be accepted I had to be like everyone else, think the way they think, want what they want, dress how they dress, act how they act and talk like they talk instead of embracing and owning my God-given uniqueness.
Our thoughts will keep us stuck and settling or encouraged and empowered and life always moves in the direction the mind goes.
Circumstances NEVER change until our minds change.
We can starve ourselves silly but if our minds are telling us that the weight is never coming off the body simply buys into that belief and the weight never budges.
Friends, I know this firsthand.
And, when those thoughts become words and women declare “the right man will never come along”, “the great job will never show up,” “I will never get out of debt,” “life will always be ongoing unorganized chaos” to no one’s surprise they are correct, prophesying their future with their very own words.
Look at a woman’s life and you will quickly figure out her mental mindset.
Some women grasp this truth and execute changes but sadly many execute excuses.
If 2020 is to be our year, severing ties with the complaining, blaming or excuse-making woman is a must otherwise it’s only a matter of time before we mimic her and our lives mirror hers.
While it may seem harsh it is a proven fact that we become like those we associate with.
Likewise, thoughts and words lead to choices and actions that dictate the direction our lives take.
By refusing to break up with those self-fulfilling, self-sabotaging thoughts, words and actions and being unwilling to say goodbye to emotionally and mentally exhausting, joy-stealing relationships before this year ends, your 2020 will look exactly like your 2019.
If you want to break through and break out in 2020 today is the day to begin breaking up with 2019!
Yes, many women are content with their next year looking identical to this year.
The question is “Are you?”
Sandra Hubbard
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