Cultivating Confidence

Confidence is the one elusive trait every woman wants but few truly possess. 

There is an old adage “fake it till you make it” but when it comes to cultivating confidence, in the long run that doesn’t work or last. You just end up feeling like a fake. 

Many women believe confidence comes only when they succeed but if that’s true it’s a dangerous theory because it keeps our confidence dependent on the external, riding a roller coaster of feeling confident one moment and insecure the next. 

Confidence isn’t an emotion but a belief, independent of circumstances, outside opinions and successes. It’s built upon humility, daily acknowledging and depending upon God for guidance.

Paul lived some days having plenty and other moments in need yet his confidence wasn’t shaken during hard seasons because “Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Phil 4:12 – 13. His confidence was in Christ alone.

When your confidence isn’t tied to what you do, who you know, where you live, the size of your bank account, house, waistline or online following but simply knowing you are enough in any external conditions then you become “that” woman.

She’s the one who knows her worth and it shows in her language, her mindset, her actions and choices.  

She may not be the prettiest, smartest, most educated, worldly, cultured or wealthiest in the room but she’s always audaciously confident.   

How?  Because her confidence isn’t based on the external but the eternal. It isn’t independent of God but dependent on Him.

Confidence refuses to co-exist with comparison.  The biggest diet killer isn’t the cookies but comparison. Seeing “her” succeed on the same diet you’ve been on without losing a pound can be discouraging. 

But what if instead you choose to let her success be your inspiration knowing if she can do it so can you? Be happy for her. Send her a “you go girl” then keep going.

Confidence also will not share space with competition.  Our only competition is with ourselves. 

A lack of confidence is when we believe we aren’t enough but really what is “enough” anyway?  Who gets to decide what is “enough”?  You do. I do.

Confidence can’t walk with resentment, anger, holding onto grudges or past failures. God has forgiven you. You forgive you too and anyone else that’s keeping you offended or mired in guilt and shame. 

There are three lies the enemy uses to keep us insecure, defeated and even bitter.   “Why wasn’t I enough?” “Why am I not enough” and “Will I ever be enough?”  

Remind him that you’ve always been enough, are enough right now as you are and will always be enough in Him. Period. End of battle. 

The confident woman needs no applause, approval or acceptance. She knows there is room in the room for all women to be confident. 

She also knows that while she can’t control circumstances or what others think of her she can choose how she thinks of herself in any circumstance and in any environment.

Confidence is never haughty, snobby or arrogant. It’s humility based and Bible proven.  

Like every belief confidence is a choice – we choose to replace “I’m not this enough” or “I’m too much of that” and with “I’m exactly as God designed me to be. I’m not perfect. No one is. I need God daily. He needs me.  Just as I am, where I am and as who I am.”  

Tell yourself anything long enough and you will believe it. What are you telling yourself about yourself?

What if you asked yourself how would the confident you walk, talk, believe, act, dress, eat, work and live? Who would she hang around, what is on her calendar, in her fridge, her closet?

How does she spend her free time, her money, her energy? Who does she follow on social media, what is she reading, listening to, watching? Who influences her, inspires her and empowers her? Who doesn’t?

Asking quality questions leads to a quality life.

Today we choose to believe we are confident and we are enough because we get to choose our beliefs and are accountable for the choices we make. You go girl!


3 responses to “Cultivating Confidence”

  1. Thank you for inspiring us all!

  2. Machelle Bernheim Avatar
    Machelle Bernheim

    Very good! Love your quote!!!

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