How to Break Free

Most women at some point will feel stuck, either in a situation they don’t like or with habits and beliefs they’re trying to change.

I’ve been there.  Not moving backwards but not moving ahead either. For years, being stuck was “normal” for me, how it’d always been.

I knew if anything was going to change, I’d first have to redefine “normal.”

This is how you break free from stagnation and frustration.

Creating a new normal happens when we define what how we want normal to look then actively pursue our new vision of normal.

It took Queen Esther one year of daily activity to make her journey to the palace. She pursued that role every day until being queen was normal for her. (Esther 2:12)

Have you ever noticed that people who say “I never have any money” generally never have any money?   

And when they do get a windfall of wealth, they quickly or impulsively spend it? Why?  It’s not because they’re irresponsible.  

It’s simply because scarcity or lack is their “normal.”   It’s what they’ve known maybe their entire lives, it feels safe and comfortable. 

Perhaps they grew up with parents who always struggled financially and saw that as “normal.”  

So when it comes to their finances, they recreate what they know. They’ve never known a financial normal that didn’t include debt, worry, anxiety and fear. 

No matter how much their income increases, they’ll subconsciously self sabotage to stay in a place they’re comfortable.

Self sabotage comes in many forms, our comfort zones being one of them.  

We might not like where we are but if it’s comfortable and we’re familiar with it, we’ll seldom leave it. It’s not what we want but it’s where we feel safe. 

Recognizing this is how you get unstuck. It’s how you change your life, your wealth, weight, even your relationships. 

Once you create a new picture of “normal” then you can begin to live it out. 

Some women grew up with parents that constantly argued, so much so they think it’s normal.  It’s no surprise that their relationships are always drama filled.

They’ll even pick arguments and create conflict thinking it’s normal. Ultimately the relationship ends and the story repeats with the next man. 

When a calm, drama-free relationship comes along, they don’t know how to interact so they create conflict and sabotage the relationship.

By redefining their definition of  “normal”, they can learn to engage in and enjoy healthy, calm, happy relationships.

For women who see dieting as “normal” having been on one for most of their adult lives often will lose the weight only to see it return and the cycle repeat.

By redefining how a healthy body looks and feels, they can begin to create a lifestyle in alignment with their new normal that doesn’t involve dieting or deprivation.

Are there any areas of your life where “normal” isn’t working for you anymore? 

I’ve had to redefine “normal” in every area of my life, literally, from the physical to the mental, emotional, spiritual and relational. 

Look at your “normal” when it comes to your wealth, health, habits, surroundings, relationships, beliefs, etc. Do you like how your normal feels? Does it need redefining?

What if you redefined it and began taking daily action that aligned with that until it became your normal?

Start with one one area of your life. Redefine and align. Then move on to the next area. 

What do you want your new “normal” to look, feel and sound like? Your new “normal” body, relationships, surroundings, mindset, habits, style, finances, day, week and year?


One response to “How to Break Free”

  1. Machelle Bernheim Avatar
    Machelle Bernheim

    Very good, friend! One at a time is the key otherwise I feel overwhelmed!

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